I have admittedly spent a brief amount of time participating (and more often observing) the Kansas City Music Forum. Often on the forum, it's a lot easier (or seems to be) to send venom towards local bands than it is to send praise. There are no doubt bands out there who instantly snap to mind who are doing the right things, being positive, and getting results. Yet, there seems to be a never ending dialogue from the listening public about all the bands who shouldn't be doing what they do. It's trivial, it's immature, and it's never going to stop.

So I, Dr. Dana Detrick-Clark, freelance music listener psychologist, am here to offer some helpful brain-cell management ideas to help you, the angry forum lurker, work through your pop band issues.

1. Yes, the objects of your disdain are more often than not of the 'pop' music persuasion. They are tough enough to write clever hooks and catchy tunes that will make you whistle, but they probably aren't going to kick your ass if you call them names. This gives you a false sense of safety in targeting them. I mean, it's cool to hate pop bands that are on MTV, but NOT cool to hate pop bands that probably live down the street from you, are working forty hours a week on top of performing, practicing, having lives, flyering, updating their websites...you catch my drift. They're too busy making music and dealing with the day to day to deal with nonsense attacks from critics who aren't paid to insult them. Plus, they probably have punk rock friends who would kick your ass for them.

2. Sick of seeing some band get all the good shows while your band (or favorite band) goes without? There's no guy on the street corner with stolen watches and good gigs in his trench coat. The secret to booking is...booking. Cold calling. Being creative and not just going with the norm and trying to get the same shows everybody else is getting. If you want to help out your local neighborhood band, see if they need assistance in getting more shows, or shows at different venues. Books like "How to Be Your Own Booking Agent" by Jeri Goldstein give really practical ways of handling this element of band life. "Making a Living in Your Local Music Market" by Dick Weissman also gives creative alternatives to doing the same old thing in your area. Another helpful thing you can do for your favorite band (if you're not a performer) is be part of their street promo team. Help them flyer and spread the word for shows to get more people to attend. The more they are a draw, the more desirable they'll be to book.

3. Accept the fact that bashing one band NEVER helps another. By eliminating a fanbase for as many bands as you can (which flaming never really accomplishes anyway), you're only in the end eliminating interest in live music in general, which is what destroys 'the scene'. By encouraging as many bands and genres as possible, you're helping your band (or favorite band) because the more live acts there are to see, the more interest there will be to check it out from that nasty little private sector that doesn't take part on a daily basis in what we do. Bars will sell more drinks, bands will get paid more, and everybody wins.

I wrap up by giving a few words to the bands that will inevitably continue to be bashed by those who do not heed my calls. Never apologize for what you do or try to change so you won't be targeted. If you're doing something that is getting attention, whether you're a local band or employee of the month at Dollar General, somebody will be pissy about it. Just accept it, and keep doing what you love.

Dana Detrick-Clark
dana@thezone.org

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For more on Dana, check out her band (Post Orgasmic Trauma) and record label (Serious Vanity).