Act Like You've Been There Before
September 2001

Over the past few months, I’ve had a very wide range of musical experiences-from my part-time bartending position I’ve seen everything from baby bands’ first gigs to small nationals like Alejandro Escovedo and Neko Case as well as the biggest and best that the local scene has to offer. As a musician and part of an act with a small label deal, I’ve had the opportunity to share stages with some real professionals and see how it’s done. It’s been an interesting learning experience, and I’ve been reflecting on lessons hard won. I’d like to share with you, gentle reader and fellow musical hopefuls, some of those lessons that divide the also-rans from the professionals.

There are a few simple rules to follow, both on stage and off that clearly earmark those who have been there before and know what they’re doing from those who are still wet behind the ears. First, let’s look at onstage behavior.

First of all, everything in the audience’s view and earshot is part of your performance, from the second the first bandmember walks on stage. Don’t straggle on one at a time and noodle around while you wait for your bandmates to join you. Take the stage together like you mean business and start the set immediately. You don’t want the audience to listen to your drummer whack around on his drums while your guitar players tune for ten minutes before you start your set. It sets an immediately amateur tone for your performance and is annoying. In-line tuners with a mute-out function can be purchased for as little as 30 dollars. It is an investment that will pay off a hundred-fold. Arion makes a cheap one that works great-I paid $35 for mine. If you don’t have one, GO GET ONE RIGHT NOW. Yes, it’s that big of a deal. It literally ruins your show all by itself to be horribly out of tune or stop the show and tune out loud. Anytime you have a natural break in the set for onstage banter, check your tuning. Professionals are IN TUNE and IN TIME.

It’s a natural human reaction for drummers to slow down in quiet passages and speed up in loud ones. A certain amount of sway is natural, but shouldn’t be noticeable. If you are a drummer, you are the heartbeat of the song. You’re in the driver seat, and erratic tempo is an earmark of amateurism. If you notice that you tend to speed up and slow down noticeably, practice with a metronome or click track. You’re not shooting for machine-precision, you’re shooting for excellence. This is very important and is also a show-killer. Record your rehearsals (even a tapedeck in the corner is sufficient) and listen back to them. If your drummer can’t get with it and refuses to work on it or doesn’t show improvement in this area, drop him. He’s dead weight and your band will not succeed. It’s impossible to be a good tight band with an erratic foundation.

The next thing to remember is that you and the soundman are a team. You work together to present the audience with the best possible listening experience. Do not ever cop an attitude with the soundman. If you’re opening for another band who won’t strike their gear and the soundman tells your drummer to set up in front, you do it with a smile no matter how cramped you are. Always Always ALWAYS be gracious. There IS a suck knob on every soundboard, although it’s location varies and is known only to the soundman himself. Piss him/her off, and they WILL use it to ruin your show. Even if the soundman is an idiot (and they sometimes are) be as pleasant as possible in your attempts to correct problems. Getting on their case just increases everyone’s stress level and is not conducive to good working relations. People make MORE mistakes when they’re stressed out, and your chances of a return engagement decrease exponentially with a poor report from the soundman. If there are sound problems, politely ask for the changes you need in between songs. This is a much better solution than frantically throwing out hand signals while trying to play a song. Remember that you’re performing, and any erratic gestures aimed at the soundman are part of that performance to the audience and are distracting.

Another important facet of your performance to consider is onstage-banter. Verbally engaging the audience is a good thing. Verbally abusing your audience is not, unless you’re a punk rock band and that’s part of your act. DO NOT complain out loud about an audience’s lack of interest. Here’s exactly how that exchange goes: Performer: Hey, what’s wrong with you people tonight? Get up! Audience member’s thought: You suck. Get off the stage.

Thank the audience for coming and play your set as well as you can, even if you think they’re not paying attention. More of them are than you think. Other than that, a little verbal engagement goes a long way. That is to say, keep it short and sweet, and only one person should speak at a time. DO NOT ask for beer to be brought to the stage over the sound system, and certainly DO NOT stop the show and wait for that pitcher to arrive, pour yourself one, and drink some of it. If you MUST, lean over and ask a buddy to get you a beer off of the mike and take a quick swig in between songs. The audience is there to hear your music, not to look at you drink beer. They can do that without paying a cover charge. While we’re on the booze tangent, save the heavy drinking for after the show. No matter what you may think, you DO NOT under any circumstances play better stoned or drunk. Have a few if you want, it may loosen up those nerves, but don’t overdo it onstage.

Before and after your performance, you should set up as quickly as possible, and tear down as quickly as possible. Unless you are the last band on a bill, you need to tear down immediately. DO NOT walk off to the bar or bathroom or mill around soaking up the attention. There are others wanting to get onstage to do their thing, and it’s EXTREMELY rude and unprofessional to make them wait for you to get your things off-stage any longer than is absolutely neccessary. It’s also bad for business. Lulls in the action will thin a crowd, which means less people drinking, which means the club makes less money, which means they’re not happy with you, which means once again, you hurt your chances of a return engagement.

Being on a multi-band bill is an excellent chance for networking, and you need to remember that the music business is all about who you know. Don’t play your set, pack up and leave unless you absolutely have to. Listen to the other bands and make an effort to make a connection with them. You never know who you’re going to meet, and how it may help you further yourselves. Friends come in handy, and you can always learn from others. business.

While you’re milling around meeting people, remember that your every action reflects on not only yourself, but everyone else in your group. If you must chase potential bedmates, be discreet and be polite. DO NOT be crude and obnoxious. You are not a rockstar, and regardless of what you may think, girls do not like that, especially when you are NOT rich and famous. Be humble when complimented on your performance and thank the complimenter. Nobody likes a conceited prick, and remember that you and your bandmates are a TEAM and that you don’t want to embarass your teammates. People like nice people and want to see them succeed. It’s just good business.

These are simple guidlines to follow, but they can make ALL the difference in the world, and they are crucial differences between perhaps where you are and where you aim to be. Start now, make the changes, and YOU WILL see a difference in how others regard you and your music.

Chris Meck
chrismeck@thezone.org

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